{"id":743,"date":"2020-03-25T14:11:03","date_gmt":"2020-03-25T14:11:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jewishpath.org\/wordpress\/?page_id=743"},"modified":"2020-11-08T16:09:01","modified_gmt":"2020-11-08T16:09:01","slug":"mussar-shalom-bayit","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/jewishpath.org\/wordpress\/mussar\/mussar-shalom-bayit","title":{"rendered":"Mussar \u2013 Shalom Bayit 8"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Mussar \u2013 Shalom Bayit<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For piety, fear of the Eternal, love of the Eternal, and purity of heart are not that deeply rooted within a person not to necessitate the employment of methods for their acquisition. In this respect they differ from natural states such as sleep and wakefulness, hunger and satiety, and all other natural instincts.\u00a0 Rather the acquisition of these qualities definitely requires various methods and devices.\u00a0 Furthermore, while there are many factors, operating to distance piety from us there are many elements that can counter these factors.\u00a0 Could it be then, conceivably, not be necessary to expend a great deal of time upon this study in order to know these truths and the means to acquire and keep them?\u00a0 How will this wisdom enter a person\u2019s heart if he will not seek it?\u00a0 Moshe Chaim Luzzatto. The Path of the Just Feldheim page 3<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There is a story told about the Chofetz Chaim.<\/span><\/p>\n

At one time, he was asked how he was able to have such a great impact on the Jewish world.\u00a0 This is how he answered:<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I set out to change the world, but I failed.\u00a0 So I decided to scale back my efforts and only influence the Jewish community of Poland, but I failed there, too.\u00a0 So I targeted the community of my hometown of Radin, but I achieved no greater success.\u00a0 Then I gave all my effort to changing my own family and I failed at that as well.\u00a0 Finally, I decided to change myself and that\u2019s how I had such an impact on the Jewish world.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We can change our world if we first change ourselves.\u00a0 We can change our home into a peaceful, holy place if we first seek to change ourselves.\u00a0 So let\u2019s take a look at one of the most difficult places, one of the hardest areas to change our own behavior.\u00a0 That place is in our homes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shalom Bayit<\/em>\u00a0literally means, Peace in the Home<\/u><\/em>, and very often the phrase is used to refer to its basic meaning, that of promoting domestic tranquility<\/u><\/em>; principles like don\u2019t go to bed angry.<\/u><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The root of\u00a0Shalom<\/em>\u00a0is the verb\u00a0Shalem<\/em>\u00a0which means to complete<\/em><\/strong> or to make whole<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0\u00a0Shalom<\/em>\u00a0means more than just a cessation of hostilities.\u00a0 It requires a sense of completeness<\/em> and wholeness<\/em>.\u00a0 Therefore, for true\u00a0Shalom<\/em>\u00a0to exist there needs to be a healing of whatever was broken in the relationship so that the relationship returns to wholeness; to a sense of harmony and a state of unity.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The art of\u00a0Shalom Bayit<\/em>\u00a0is knowing how to pick our battles; which issues are worth fighting over and which ones we just need to let them pass. Sometimes\u00a0Shalom Bayit\u00a0calls upon us to just hold back and swallow our emotions, for the sake of the harmony.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shalom Bayit<\/em>\u00a0is a Jewish value in which the home is considered a sacred place. The home is the site of many\u00a0mitzvot<\/em>, i.e. keeping Shabbat, observing the holidays, Torah study, etc.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We cannot have Shalom Bayit if we first look to improve our mate.\u00a0 Our first look must be at ourselves, only then can we, perhaps, say something to our mate.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He who conceals his sins will not succeed, but he who confesses and abandons [them] will obtain mercy.\u00a0 Mishlei (Proverbs) 28.13<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I Form light and Create darkness\u00a0\u00a0 Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 45.7<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Formation is something from something.<\/em>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Creation is something from nothing.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Darkness has no relationship with G-d.<\/span><\/p>\n

Light emanates from G-d\u2019s Presence.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I Make peace and Create evil.\u00a0 Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 45.7<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Making refers to the completion of a concept.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So we equate evil with darkness.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Darkness, Constriction, allows for the existence of a finite world where G-d\u2019s Presence is undetectable and thus allows both good and evil to exist and operate freely.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Evil exists for the sole purpose of being transformed into good.\u00a0 Each positive act that we do takes a bit of evil out of this world.\u00a0 Through our struggle we attain Shalom<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 We are then unified with creation and with G-d.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Jerusalem is actually spelled Yerushalem\u00a0 Yireh Shalem<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On a deeper level,\u00a0Yireh Shalem<\/em>\u00a0has an alternate meaning: Complete awe<\/em>. You see, on a soul level, Jerusalem is not just a patch of hilly earth or a dot on a map. It is that special place within each and every one of us where we are one with G\u2011d and deeply in tune with His Presence. Yireh Shalem (or Jerusalem) therefore means complete awe<\/em>, a state where one is so in touch with G\u2011d as to be in constant rapture.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is what every soul longs for.\u00a0\u00a0 To dwell in G-d\u2019s Presence, to find joy and peace and have all needs met.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This is what we hope for in our homes as well.\u00a0 Peace and harmony.\u00a0 Each of us should endeavor to provide what the other needs, without being asked sometimes.\u00a0 Communication is always needed.\u00a0 This needs to be done with respect.\u00a0 We should listen intently, think over what the other said and then respond.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To have Shalom Bayit, to have a peaceful soul we must be willing to change ourselves.\u00a0 Mussar practices will assist us with this challenge.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Blessings and Peace<\/span><\/p>\n

Rebbetizin Revi Belk<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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