34 Violating Individual Space

בייה

Dear friends and family Ha Torah shares the tragic story of eight-year-old Dinah*, daughter of Leah [and Jacob]. Dinah was an attractive young, extroverted single woman lured out of her home and community into a new, unfamiliar town without accompaniment. She was vulnerable! Our communities have vicious predators trolling for someone to fulfill their sexual desires. *[See Bereshit 72.6] (Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer 38.1) Says, ‘The daughter of Jacob was abiding in the tents, and she did not go into the street; so what did Shechem, the son of Chamor, do? He brought dancing girls who were (also) playing on pipes in the streets. Dinah went forth to see those girls making merry, and [the Predator Shechem] abducted and raped Dinah.’ (Genesis 34.1-2) says,‘And Dinah, the daughter of Leah, whom she bore to Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land. And when Shechem, the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, took her, lay with her, and defiled her.’

Our sages teach parents, relatives, and close friends the importance of providing our children with a safe, secure shelter/home. There were five adults tasked with keeping Dinah safe. Parents MUST NOT practice ‘DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO!!’ That is a fatal dose of poison. A home is not a safe, secure shelter when parents, relatives, and friends bring impurities into the home!! Everyone must be thoroughly vetted. Children mimic their Parents and relatives.

Ha Torah describes Dinah as Dinah the daughter of Leah went out,’ when we all know she was Leah’s daughter because she was trying to attract attention to herself, [like her mother did]. She had bedecked herself (Bereshit Rabbah 80.1). What does bedecking herself mean? Leah, went out to meet Jacob seductively dressed like a harlot (Genesis 30,16). Dinah followed the reflection of Leah. Dinah adorned herself in seductive apparel when she went out. Dinah wasn’t born then. Who did she learn of Leah’s seductive action? Word gets around. Someone in the family or near the family brought that impurity into the sanctity of their home/tent. Scripture is critical of women who unnecessarily leave the security and modest environment of their homes. Rabbeinu Bahya, Bereshit 34.25 – Torah Commentary by Rabbi Bachya ben Asher. Translated by Eliyahu Munk, 1998

(Genesis 30.16) says,When Jacob came home from the field in the evening, Leah went out to meet him and said, “You are to sleep with me, for I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” And he lay with her that night.’ The Contemporary Torah, JPS, 2006

Our sages also teach that Jacob was not without fault in this matter. Ha, Torah informs us that Jacob was responsible for hiding Dinah in a box to prevent her from being seen by Esau. (Genesis 32.23) informs us,‘ Jacob rose that night, took his two wives, two women servants, and eleven sons, and passed over the ford Jabbok.’ Given the opportunity perhaps Dinah could have altered the evil, Esau. After all, he was circumcised and raised in Isaac’s home, but Jacob chose to hide her from Esau, and as a result, she ended up being ravaged by an uncircumcised Hittite. Would that be considered cause and effect?

As noted above, our Rabbis offer some reasons why Dinah was abducted and raped. Yet, first and foremost, we must be mature, ethical, and self-controlled!!

Each of us is FORBIDDEN to violate another individual’s space. Ha Torah does NOT condone any form of improper behavior. Everyone has a unique space that must be respected by others. Dinah was abducted, i.e., kidnapped, held captive, victimized, raped, and broken into many pieces by Shechem. Shechem VIOLATED Dinah’s personal space!! Dinah was a victim of Shechem’s lack of self-control. Shechem should have been immediately apprehended and charged with the crimes he committed. The men of Shechem, responsible for adjudicating The Seven Laws, looked the other way, thus giving a pass to Shechem. Government officials politicians may look the other way but God does not. God holds each of accountable for our actions or lack there of.

Each of us is held to a moral standard of self-constraint. Do not follow those who try to confuse/blur borders between people. Our private thoughts, staring, winking, handshakes, hugs, kisses, emails, text messages, lustful dreams, thoughts, and arms around each other violate the modest principles of Individual Space. Each of us should be modest and careful. We should follow the principles of personal space. We should be mindful of our thoughts. Do we constrain our thoughts when they are inappropriate? Does our mind mentally penetrate another individual’s private space? Do we imagine? Do we lust? Do we strongly desire? Do we look away? Do we redirect our thoughts, or do we stare? Do we mentally violate other individuals? How do we employ our thoughts and our words? It is inappropriate to touch, squeeze, pinch, grab, or intentionally brush against another’s sexual organs! From time to time, we may find it necessary to inform others about the parameters of our personal space.

(Micah 6.8) says, He has told you, O man, what is good; and what Lord Requires of you. Do justice, lovingkindness, walk humbly with our God!’

What about us? What about the work that we need to be doing? How do we interact with those that are close to us? Do we have some fences that need mending? Do the walls of our homes need purifying? What about our attitudes? Do we invade the sanctity of others’ space with our words and comments? Do we attack and break down the fragile walls of other individual spaces?

Observing Torah guidelines is always essential! God Willing, we will continue to stay within the Torah’s Guidelines of righteous living and repentance. May we help others? May we bring peace and healing to our world? May this coming to Sabbath and every Sabbath be a blessed Day.

Good Sabbath!

Dr. Akiva George Belk

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